Dear Jindagi (a latest Bollywood blockbuster) showcased beautifully how, fear of rejection intimidates us, leading us to reject others before anyone else can reject us. Letting go of possibilities and opportunities before we have had the time to truly examine and explore them for what can be. The protagonist is plagued with this fear and continues to struggle even when wanting support on smallest of the things.
Rejection … remains one of our top internal fears.
And yet… on a daily basis we must deal with this fear, after all even a simple request of asking someone for a cup of coffee can be rejected, or giving us some information or anything that we may need from someone else for that matter.
If we are terrified of getting the door slammed in your face, asking for help or support or even negotiations in business and professional life can be difficult for us. Just the thought that our efforts could be met with rejection might be enough to discourage us from stepping up and going for what we truly want.
So where do we go from here? How do we get past those obstacles even if our first attempt fails?
Getting past the fear of rejection may not happen overnight, but it’s certainly possible.
I think what can help us to get past the fear of Rejection is a fewtips/ideas that keep us focused on our mission and ensure that we persevere. I am listing a few thoughts, that have helped me and in mind can create a win-win situation for all involved, while we request/want something from someone;
Believe in our point of view. By far, this is the most important element of success to get past the fear of rejection. We absolutely need to believe in our point of view in order to sell it/ or for someone to buy it!
When we’re confident, it shows in our eyes and body language. People are quicker to pay attention when they realize we stand 100% behind our point of view.
If we’re not sold on our point of view, chances are the other person may fail to take us seriously.
Standing behind our idea and believing in them gives usthe bargaining ability to win over others and an edge.
Like the movie, Dear Zindagi, protagonist, Kaira, we was unable to sell her idea for a short film simply because she didn’t believe in her point of view, she wasn’t confident about herself and of course the fear of rejection kept taking over. She kept telling others but on her own she didn’t step up to support her idea.
Prepare the case. Now that we’ve bought into our point of view, and we are confident of what we want or need, it’s time to plan our approach. Decide on how to express our case for the best possible results that gets us what we want as well as keep the other person satisfied and happy. Get all the possible information in support of the idea. Show case the benefits for all involved without hesitating to put forth the downsides, if any.
In the film we don’t know how Kiara finally sells the idea of her short film, but I am fairly certain that she had gotten ample confidence (thanks to her able therapist) and gathered enough information to finally put forth her case in front of the producers and financers, show case them how all can benefit from the project and get going with what she wants. But only once she has the confidence and she prepares herself she could put it out there.
Embrace our human equality. At the end of the day, we are just as good as anybody else. If something is ‘humanly possible’ I believe it’s possible for each and every one of us. We need to avoid letting our feelings of inadequacy to convince us to shy away from what we truly want.
It’s important to reinforce that NO is an answer too (and sometimes for the best). That rejection doesn’t make us a failure. It simply gives us the opportunity to fine tune our approach. After all, experience is the best teacher!
Kaira’s fear for rejection, in the film, is so strong that it overpowers every other instinct that she has, forgetting that others too may have a point of view and are not necessarily trying to hurt her. Take the scene with Raghuvendra (the male interest) at the bar,who tells her he wants to be with her and yet she is unable to accept that truth, only believing in the ultimate let down and walks away from him, rejecting him. Had she taken the moment to accept her ‘Human’ self, believed that she is as good as any other person, I believe she would have given herself a chance.
Consider the worst that could happen. Take a moment and really consider the possible outcomes. What’s the worst that could come out of our attempts at asking or requesting someone for what we really want? Just how life-crushing the rejection could be?
If we are honest with ourselves, we will realize that we are probably making it seem worse than it is.
The worst thing we can hear is “no.” But the answer was anyways a ‘NO’ when we never asked for what we wanted… isn’t it?
Being rejected doesn’t make usany less worthy. In fact, consider what the other party is missing out on what we have to offer!
Rejection is a natural, ever-occurring part of life. We can expect to face rejection from time to time because not everybody sees eye to eye. But that’s what makes life so interesting!
I think life will be so very boring if everything I did never met with rejection? It would limit my creativity and imagination, stop me from learning and growing and finding new answers and paths and ways and possibilities and what I am capable of and who I can truly be.
So, listen to me; we all must do our part to keep mankind constantly evolving… Be bold and ready to take on whatever is thrown at us! Get up Dust ourselves and walk again…
As they say HarkeaageJeethai… (There is success beyond failure)…
(Writer is a Life and Personal Branding Coach and practices from Mumbai, India)
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