When things get really tough, most of us get into what I call, the 3 C state; Complain, Constrict and Cut-Off, the classic panic mode. Well, what other choices does one really have when one is in the state of crisis? You will say that it’s logical to do all these 3 when we are in the zone. I agree completely, as I too did the same. And then the realization struck me; however much logical it seemed the 3 Cs never made things better, they only took me spiraling downwards, mentally, emotionally and physically, making things worst and worst. I began to realize that when in crisis mode the only way to get out of it is, swim upwards, outside the whirlpool, and grasp the breath.
These are moments that test our mettle, what are we truly made of, and this I realize I can only see if I empower myself to make improvements to go past the challenges that I am facing. Cutting-off or Complaining or Constricting myself did not help me get better solutions nor did they ever motivate me to do more. On the contrary they sunk me further and further.
Most of us are great at getting ourselves worked up into a state that’s anything but empowering. When things get challenging, we need all of our resources if we’re really going to turn things around.
We have to make choices that help us to overcome our negative thinking and emotions, and I believe, we all have the power to bring about positive changes in our lives.
I have tried few things with myself and those I work with, to take our life from good to great, which I will share and hope that you too may find them useful.
I believe that we have the Power to Choose (the best gift that we have ever been granted is this Power to Choose); not choosing or saying that I don’t have a choice, in itself is a choice. When we do not choose actively, by default life will make a choice that makes us feel helpless. We have already chosen a way by not choosing.
Being assertive, Stand up for what we want. Many of us are simply too passive to ever accomplish anything significant. Sometimes we have to declare what we want. Sometimes we have to say ‘no’ to others. We don’t have to be selfish, but there’s nothing wrong with making a decision that will support us in our life and then making it happen.
We are very often not aware of what our biggest strengths are, make a list of 10 greatest strengths, now think of ways that we can leverage them to our advantage, that help us get what we want (as stated by us). If we are going to take back control of our life quickly, we’ll probably need to go all guns blazing with all our strengths to accomplish it.
While we are at it, it’s also worthwhile to think about our 10 greatest weaknesses. These are commonly the things that get us into trouble. What we can do to reduce the impact of our weaknesses on our life or how best can we remain aware of the same so as to bypass them.
Being in control of our life also means that we stop making excuses. I have heard so many of them from not having money to not having time and everything in between, till I tell my clients that I will shoot someone they love, unless they find a way… voila… they very quickly do. Excuses limit us and prevent us from taking charge of the situation. If we can take responsibility, we can change the situation. Excuses give us a justification for being passive. If we believe that something is outside of our control, we also believe that we can’t do anything to change it. (2nd most powerful gift that we have been given, the Power to Change what we want to change)
I often realize that my mind is clogged and foggy when I am not well rested and I have experienced the same with my clients. Get more sleep. Most of us simply don’t sleep enough to be at our best. Studies have shown that most people experience improved mood, clarity of thought, and increased energy if they increase their sleep by one hour per night. Turn off the TV, get off the whatsapp and Facebook and go to bed an hour earlier or catch that power nap. Just get some extra rest.
The 9 minute rule, which states spend 9 minutes every morning sorting what are the most important things that need to accomplished in the day, also works wonders in being more in control. Spend the first hour or two each morning on these most important tasks. This makes us feel accomplished. And then I suggest make a list of the daily accomplishments, trust me there is no high as the high we get in releasing how much we have achieved in the day. A sense that we are on our way to success.
Warren Buffett and many accomplished people have said “Invest as much of yourself as you can, you are your own biggest asset by far”. Well we surely are our biggest asset, so Decide which area of our life would have the greatest impact if improved. Focus on that one area of life that will make the biggest difference, and work at enhancing it.
I think we feel most out of control when we are told what we can or cannot do. The whole world seems to tell us what we should be doing or not and the pressure is enormous. What would we do if we were free of all of those expectations? Take my advice and seriously forget about expectations. Choose for self for a change.
Figure out what’s holding us back. Why aren’t we already living our life the way we choose? What’s preventing us? What are we afraid of? What can we do to work around these challenges? Develop a plan to get past these resistances, get help from coaches and mentors or those who you admire, to take make progress and being more in control.
We need to keep putting one step in front of another and start the journey of being in control by making the necessary changes. It’s time to do what needs to be done. ACT as Action Changes Things
There are very few things as fulfilling as the sense of knowing that we have full control over our life. It’s a feeling that tells us that there is nothing we can’t do. The world is just sitting there, patiently waiting for us to take control of our life, and witness the greatness that we are. Question I ask is: are you ready for your Greatness to take your life from Good to Great?
I am a life and Personal Branding Coach and practice from Mumbai, India, Please do let me know if this blog has helped you.
If you wish to get control back in your life, if you wish you can do more and be more, write to me and take a free complimentary Life Coaching session. Give yourself a chance to take your life from Good to Great.